PONDERISMS .....CARTOONS
PONDERISMS
· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
· The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
· Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
· Life is sexually transmitted
· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
· Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
· Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
· Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
· If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
posted by: hotlipz4u (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (4:58 am)
lol true eh?? i like the one where u say does pushin the elevator once make it go faster... lol i do it alot!! HEHE I SHOULD STOP!! ITS NOT GONNA WORK!
posted by: Makaveli (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (5:04 am)
funny sweet..so funny..i liked that cow one..lol..and the first pic made me totally crack up..keep them coming..:)
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (5:25 am)
Last time I had surgery I was kept awake... I actually heard the doctor say, "What the hell is that?"
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (6:26 am)
lol..think we all do that..especially when in a hurry and it seems forever before it stops at us..thanks for comment
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (6:27 am)
yeah as for the dog whistle..glad they improved and I don't have a dog..hehe.
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (6:27 am)
oh that didn't sound good..would have scared the hell out of me.
posted by: ruined (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:07 am)
ROFL!!! Great one-liners! I almost want to try these out as a stand up routine! :)
As for the dog whistle. It could be worse. It could have been that you had to blow on the OTHER end...
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:09 am)
the dog whistle..that was the first thing that came to my mind..lol..cause they do that on the sci-fi channel ad...*rolls eyes*
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:12 am)
haha..that was a good one.
posted by: 21CC (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:14 am)
yikes!
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:37 am)
lol
posted by: mbv1 (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (9:17 am)
Sue..... what can I say?? You have done it again, you have made me smile. I loved this post!! " In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal." Now that is the truth!!
posted by: oneswtladee206 (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (9:47 am)
hey there... yeah i've been waiting for my proaccount to be fix so i can change the font color to a darker color... so when that happens i will change it... i promise, i was thinking the same thing
posted by: justinb (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (11:08 am)
lol some of those are really funny. I like that first pic. lol. great post.
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (11:28 am)
yep mb..that is the truth about the acid and prozac..lol..thanks for comment
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (11:28 am)
there is no more pro accounts ones..
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (11:29 am)
thanks justin..thought you would like the first pic..all us comp junkies should..hehe
posted by: beadjunkie (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (3:38 pm)
I still keep pressing the button while waiting for the elevator. It makes it seem like I'm doing something than standing there waiting doing nothing :)
posted by: keidz (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (4:05 pm)
once again, thanks for making me smile! Ü
i always do when i read your posts. rock on! Ü
posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (4:34 pm)
"Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?"
Well, actually they do, in Geraldine, Alabama. This is an obscure little town on Sand Mountain in northeast Alabama. It's about 20 miles from where I was raised. And for some reason, the citizens and law enforcement officers of Geraldine claim a great number of UFO sightings and even contact with these aliens. My big questions is why they would fly across the universe, a civilization much higher and more advanced than ours, just to visit Geraldine, Alabama? If they really want to do something useful, bring a load of teeth- the folks in Geraldine could use them.
posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 01.19.06 (8:35 pm)
All very funny sue, I know hubby is going to love the surgical one ,he is a nurse.
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.20.06 (3:35 am)
thanks keidz..you always make me smile with such nice comments.
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.20.06 (3:35 am)
oh ladyg..I am glad he will like it..must make a note to find more nurse jokes..hehe
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.20.06 (3:36 am)
I have oftened wondered to Pastor..why they pick certain areas as to others..if there are ufo's..I am not sure if believe in them or not.
posted by: sweetsue (reply)
post date: 01.20.06 (3:37 am)
lol..I hear you beaded..think we all do that..thanks for comment
posted by: Manual (reply)
post date: 03.26.06 (4:39 pm)
You really Gotcha nice blog here
